Hey Parents Relax… It is your Child’s Exams …..Not Yours…..
Come
Exam Time and Many parents feel as if they are
the ones appearing for the Boards. Believe it or not,
the fact is that the bulk of anxiety students
experience before or during Exams is mostly communicated
by parents, whose expectations normally are not in
the realm of reality.
As the Plus II exams of various education boards are
approaching , psychiatrists are having to deal in
increasing numbers with candidates suffering from
one or many of symptoms of Mental disorders, depression,
dislike for study, moodiness, violent attitude…. Some
students share is that they have been forced against
their will by parents to study science. It has also
been observed that parents have become more obsessed
with engineering and management degrees, with the
sudden spurt in the number of private institutes offering
the courses.
Exam-related stress does not stop at headaches alone.
It leads to behavioral problems like aggressiveness
and irritation. There are cases of epilepsy which
could be traced to stress. It is called a Functional
Epilepsy as against Hysterical Epilepsy. This happens
when a student is asked to reach targets beyond his
capacity. Inability to cope leads to such severe symptoms.
It becomes an escape route
Escape
from an unpleasant situation could even lead to resorting
to extreme steps like ending one’s life. Increase
in the number of exam-related suicides is a sad testimony
to the state of affairs.
Here
are a few tips, parents may use when dealing with
their Adolescents:
1.
Parents must encourage and guide the child as
per his/ her abilities and not force their own will.
Let your child make his own decision. Guide him, but
leave the final decision onto him. Help him focus
and stand by him. It is important for the parent to
understand that it is ok to have goals and aspirations,
but it is equally important to make sure they’re YOUR
Child’s goals and his / her aspirations and
theirs.
2.
Remember your own adolescence: your changing
feelings, anger at authority, and fears and hopes.
Look at your adolescent’s behavior in the context
of those memories to help you keep perspective.
3. Avoid communicating your anxieties to your child.
4. Listen more than talk. Young people have spent at
least a decade as listeners in most situations. During
adolescence, they want and need the chance to share
their feelings and ideas and to begin recasting family
beliefs, stories, and traditions in light of their
changing identity.
5.
Use positive reinforcement for positive behavior whenever
possible; it is far more effective than criticism
or punishment for negative behavior. Words that belittle
can hurt your adolescent’s self-esteem. The most useful
tools in raising young people are love, compassion,
sensitivity, praise, understanding, and communication
6.
Accept that you have feelings too. You may feel frustrated,
angry, discouraged, or sad during difficult times
with your adolescent. Being a good parent doesn’t
mean being perfect. Model the ability to apologize
when you feel that you let your emotions get the best
of you. Your example will help your child understand
human frailty and ways of mending relationships strained
by stress or disagreement
7. Do not always push for drastic or dramatic solutions.
Sometimes young people just need time and support
to work through their problems.
8.
Parents and relatives must avoid comparisons with
other students or with themselves at all costs
9.
You could reassure your child. You could teach your
child that “failures are stepping stones to success”.
Falling short on a goal does not mean falling short
as a person.
10.
Teach your child to cope with stress, by building
his self esteem. Fostering courage, nobility will
instill in him, the feeling that he is capable of
coping with any problem.
11.Evaluate
your child’s performance. Do not evaluate yourself
or your child.
12.
Remember that every child has some talent and you
have to bring out that hidden talent in him.
Question: Are Parents responsible for Exam Stress on their Children ? As Parents is your expcations too high for your child to Meet…….Click here to Share your views
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