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Hey Parents Relax

Hey Parents Relax... It is your Child's Exams .....Not Yours.....

Come Exam Time and Many parents feel as if they are the ones appearing for the Boards. Believe it or not, the fact is that the bulk of anxiety students experience before or during Exams is mostly communicated by parents, whose expectations normally are not in the realm of reality.

As the Plus II exams of various education boards are approaching , psychiatrists are having to deal in increasing numbers with candidates suffering from one or many of symptoms of Mental disorders, depression, dislike for study, moodiness, violent attitude…. Some students share is that they have been forced against their will by parents to study science. It has also been observed that parents have become more obsessed with engineering and management degrees, with the sudden spurt in the number of private institutes offering the courses.

Exam-related stress does not stop at headaches alone. It leads to behavioral problems like aggressiveness and irritation. There are cases of epilepsy which could be traced to stress. It is called a Functional Epilepsy as against Hysterical Epilepsy. This happens when a student is asked to reach targets beyond his capacity. Inability to cope leads to such severe symptoms. It becomes an escape route

Escape from an unpleasant situation could even lead to resorting to extreme steps like ending one's life. Increase in the number of exam-related suicides is a sad testimony to the state of affairs.

Here are a few tips, parents may use when dealing with their Adolescents:

1. Parents must encourage and guide the child as per his/ her abilities and not force their own will. Let your child make his own decision. Guide him, but leave the final decision onto him. Help him focus and stand by him. It is important for the parent to understand that it is ok to have goals and aspirations, but it is equally important to make sure they're YOUR Child’s goals and his / her aspirations and theirs.

2. Remember your own adolescence: your changing feelings, anger at authority, and fears and hopes. Look at your adolescent's behavior in the context of those memories to help you keep perspective.

3. Avoid communicating your anxieties to your child.

4. Listen more than talk. Young people have spent at least a decade as listeners in most situations. During adolescence, they want and need the chance to share their feelings and ideas and to begin recasting family beliefs, stories, and traditions in light of their changing identity.

5. Use positive reinforcement for positive behavior whenever possible; it is far more effective than criticism or punishment for negative behavior. Words that belittle can hurt your adolescent's self-esteem. The most useful tools in raising young people are love, compassion, sensitivity, praise, understanding, and communication

6. Accept that you have feelings too. You may feel frustrated, angry, discouraged, or sad during difficult times with your adolescent. Being a good parent doesn't mean being perfect. Model the ability to apologize when you feel that you let your emotions get the best of you. Your example will help your child understand human frailty and ways of mending relationships strained by stress or disagreement

7. Do not always push for drastic or dramatic solutions. Sometimes young people just need time and support to work through their problems.

8. Parents and relatives must avoid comparisons with other students or with themselves at all costs

9. You could reassure your child. You could teach your child that "failures are stepping stones to success". Falling short on a goal does not mean falling short as a person.

10. Teach your child to cope with stress, by building his self esteem. Fostering courage, nobility will instill in him, the feeling that he is capable of coping with any problem.

11.Evaluate your child's performance. Do not evaluate yourself or your child.

12. Remember that every child has some talent and you have to bring out that hidden talent in him.

Question: Are Parents responsible for Exam Stress on their Children ? As Parents is your expcations too high for your child to Meet.......Click here to Share your views


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